I visited this site and to my surprised i had tags. I re read many of the entries and it did bring back loads of memories. I guess this really is the purpose of a blog aye, not needing to show the world how exciting my life may be but a place to really vent some anger, share some thoughts and just when i look back, there's a certain nostalgia about it. However people changes i think i have too and i prolly am going to have a new blog. A brand new space for me and my thoughts. So this blog might just cease to exist when that happens i guess....
Princess xoxo
1:40 PM
Thursday, November 15, 2007
You&I
Not sure wat i am battling here or what exactly am i vexed upon. Mayb it was because of what you say or didn't say. The response wasnt wat i was hoping for. Mayb the warmth that i seeked or the insecurities in me that is dying to show. I needa be soothed, when ask me to tell you what i really feel i can't tell, i can't tell between factual and my own thoughts anymore. Mayb i really am creating a mountain outta a moldhill or creating problems with my lil own brain. I don't know anymore. All i noe is i juz wan to feel secure and safe. Hold me till the fear in me subsidies. I wish i know where we are heading when the bud is going to blossoms into a rose. I feel so foreign in your world, the heart is afraid to wander arnd. Fear. I juz wan to stay the way we are i juz wan us to be bold, to be in our world where we are not a stranger in.
Princess xoxo
11:39 AM
Monday, September 10, 2007
I've deleted so much of the past, the only stuff that is left are those memories etched in my head. It can get painful, thinking all those dat we once shared and all those thoughts have just been washed away.. and now everything is so complicated, it have gotten out of hand. I am not in sync with my feelings and thought, they seem to take on different views leaving me totally thrown off guard. What once used to be is no longer the same anymore. I am juz so angry with myself, why do i have to see wat other ppl feels and work according to their feelings? Why can't i juz be stronger? Why the problem with me?!
Princess xoxo
4:53 PM
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Its shaking deep inside. I need a little venting at this precise moment. I thought its was all perfect. At least i thought things could change to look a little sunnier and dat a little tinkle will shine. But i was wrong. That text msg totally threw me off balance. The inevitable had happened and things will nv be the same again. Life now holds no meaning and i am floating in the air waiting for something to be pull me down to earth again. Its like suddenly the gravity has gone. I am waiting for the decision that could make or break. And i seriously dunno what to feel now. Whether i should be a bigger person or should i juz be selfish. Afterall all humans are selfish and i have to fight for what i wan, but will all the hardwork pay off? I seriously dunno. How to compare 2 mths to 3 years? Will dat 3 years juz fade away and not leave a scar? I really doubt so. Its alrd imprinted, imprinted hard, and it will not go away for a long long time. I gave everything and a little bit more and it still aint enough. Am i really so much more worst? who says no one will compare? the entire world will. Its a battle or insecurities. Things happens for a reason, does this count as a reason? to what den? I jus need to noe. I juz want to noe. Like now!
Princess xoxo
4:49 PM
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Alright i am making a silent comeback. If there's absolutely anyone still visiting this forsaken place i'm truely amazed. Anyhow, i wouldnt be able to contain my excitement that i am back blogging. So shout out to all you peeps arnd! Anyway i am so bored having going to work and back home and partying and life goes on and on that i feel i need to do something about it.. okie i am planning to brush up my pea brain IT skills, first step is to upload photos in this blog. Then mayb i can create my own skin. Okie too ambitious.. when i think of what to do i'll blog alrd. LOL.. i'm outta here!
Princess xoxo
10:05 AM
Monday, September 11, 2006
Ever looked at another person life and feel totally intrigued by it wishing that you own a life like dat as well? But when you really toked to the person, you realised it just isnt what it seems to be. Still, you will wonder if another ppl will look at your and feel intrigue as well. Just like the army advertisement. If your life was made into a movie would it be a interesting fast paced one or would it be a boring mundane one? Right now, i'm juz feeling all curious how it would be like to live as a fren for one day. A colleague told me i lack of determination to achieve all those dat i wan to. So many things in life i wanna do i wanna achieve. But juz somehow i feel like its a 3min interest kinda thing...
*it will pick up faith and hope will come back, i juz need to focus
Princess xoxo
4:52 PM
Monday, August 14, 2006
Well well.. i've fallen sick again. Like *groans* again. Yes, sadly again. Its test week. Feeling no urgency to be studying and nothing seems to stay in my brain for long. So much for thinking working and studying is easy peasy. Okie, i realised my mistake. Time pass by so quickly when one is studying. Its like before i knew it, wham.. its week 7.
Was over at gret's birthday bash on sat. Its at MACS. 21st birthday celebrated at macs. Imagine our reaction when we recieved the invite. Was proud of the present me and win got her. Haha. It was some honey dust that is suppose to act as a aphrodisiac.
Alright i gotta persevere for this 2 yrs den i can do wat i want.
OKie, i'm out
P/s: Thanx for all those dat still cares! Really appreciate it!
Princess xoxo
10:51 AM
Friday, August 04, 2006
Stuck in the middle Wonder who is still going through my blog site every now and then since its glory days are over and wats left on the website is juz a bunch of cobwebs. Such a gloomy abandoned place it has become. Still whenever, my puny brain feels like babbling some nonsense or when there are issues bothering me, i'm always back here to seek refuge. To get it out of the system. Truely a bitching paradise. Allows me to sit down and ponder over stuff and trying to rationalised it with myself. Why do i always seem like i am running into a crisis. A quarter life crisis. Hadn't i been toking about this issue since long time ago? And its back? All i can say is prolly i am still trying out and i still hadnt have any clue what to do in my life or be sure i have found something. I don't think i am making any sense here but who cares right? Its juz me and my blog left. Ha! Well.. a competitive lil girl always searching for volume always seeking for higher grounds like i am gonna be drown if i don't. Or mayb its juz my nature to change every now and then. Then, i wonder if the change is doing me any good or i am jus digging around. Or mayb i am juz not an easily contented sort of person. I miss those carefree times where there is absolutely no need to vex over life-love issues. Thats the scary part of growing up (i think i repeated this before) stresses over practically everything. I've seen the good times and the bad ones and when the bad ones hits a person, it hits the person hard. I just started my journey.. and even with this small step i took, i ran into a obstacle. It's now time to think of the solution.
Princess xoxo
2:53 PM
Friday, June 30, 2006
30/06
Its the last weekend whereby i can let down my hair and enjoy the "freedom" of not needing to rush assignments, projects, meet deadlines or worry about tests and exams. As school is starting right spot on on monday. Mayb it is a good thing too.. allow me to put my focus onto something more impt in life. Have been slacking too much for the last couple of months. 9 months to be more exact. Whoa thats like close to a year. So much have happen in the past 9 months. happy, sad, exhilarating etc etc... now its like i'm hit by a big yellow bus and i'm back in reality.
Not sure if i am feeling all happy about it. Or mayb juz happy for small changes.. oh well..
*memories will fade with time... will frenship fade with time too?
Princess xoxo
10:12 AM
Friday, June 23, 2006
Was down with the gastric flu bug for the last couple of days which each day one or another will urge me to head back home to rest. But stubborness got the better of me. So i stayed in the office and worked. Guess i hadnt been resting enough or given proper attention to my body.
There are oso other stuff dat is bothering me.. sigh!!
Okie i dun feel like blogging anymore.
Char: sorry babe, not able to go see u do the fashion show gig at zouk. still, love ya!
Sarah: thanx for being here.. work would be different without my "twin"