The competition is less than 4 hrs away. Sitting here in the office and running through the steps is not doing very well for the nerves. I'm jittery. Irregardless of the countless competition that i've taken part, there's still always anxiety. Afraid i might screw up later, wrong move, wrong count, wrong timing, fall down, you name it... And unlike a performance, usually i feel like its such a breeze but this time we are actually being judged! The energy level, the coordination, even the way i move my ass will be taken into consideration which makes it so scary. Told myself i'm juz going to go out there put on my best and do what i always do best. But at this moment, i'm still nervous! I'm a perfectionist, i aim for the dance to be flawless, aim for my moves to be skilled to perfection which is why i'm so wound up in the office going through the music again and again running through the steps in my mind over and over again.
This morning i woke up feeling pretty f-uped coz i didnt exactly had the most pleasant night last night. Firstly "he" commented on my display pic. "he" didnt like the way i took the picture. started saying that i changed.. can't deny that i wasn't upset when i heard that because i didnt tot i really changed. Or mayb i did. I could tell.. Am i no longer like the girl who was in vini? Mayb i aint anymore. I think i grew, i matured, i had an attitude makeover.. i'm confused all over again. Then, i got dissappointed. Someone kinda promised something.. yet didnt fulfil that promised. And that promised has already been made twice. Sometimes, i juz wish, no one promises anything then there will be no disappointment.
Guys are full of disappointment and Girls are full of expectations
If we all didnt have expectations, then there wun be disappointment. If they didnt disappoint us, we wun have expectations. Everything needs two hands to clap. And i'm having a serious case of PMS!! Arggghhhhh!!!!
Guessed what i just heard, the tixs to the competition are being sold out! Freak!
- i'm out of here -
Princess xoxo
10:32 AM
Friday, December 16, 2005
Par-tay Nite
Its only less den 24 hours away from the performance at convention tomorrow. Even though with all the SYF and cheerleading experiences i'm still experiencing butterflies.. jitters over if they dance is good, the turn out of convention nite as well as the crowd...
Wishes everything goes smoothly... Will update about tml..
To him: I juz realised what is actually good for you and i am respecting you! Hope things will change for the better.. All i wan is to see you happy!!
To a particular oldie: Thanx for helping me out with the report today!!