I'm a Nerd I'm a Party Girl I'm a Princess all i need is Girl Power
You called and my hearts thump I'm trying to untangle but i fall deeper deeper into the slums I'm not in love (i'm lying) I'm in love ( with myself) Selfish you called me.. i agreed.. satan gave the devil horns.. I scream i shout i cry.. i'm tired! emotionless.. Numb.. i cant feel I dun give a damn i dun wan to care But why do my heart hurts like its rip into 2 Am i always looking for something new.. I dont want to go running away Break freeeeee.... breatheeeeee but the air is stale... Arghh!!! What is it i wan? I no longer knew.. i'm juz a party girl.. wild and havoc.. i miss the nerd.. little miss where have you been?? I need my mantra i need my prerogative I need to play by my rules.. I need to go with the flow.. i want nature to take its course A total attitude makeover.. Screeeemeeeee Life's a bitch for me now, suddenly its all white trash... I need to walk but i dun wan to walk I hate myself.. Where's that ade!!! where's that spunk.. that attitude.. that person i wan to be??!!! I dun need to be judged. I am my own person. if its meant to be it will be..
Fight the feeling Leave it alone It just aint enough to leave my happy home Let's keep it friendly You have to play fair See I dont care But I know we ain't gonna wanna share
-pissed out-
Princess xoxo
3:57 PM
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Split Personality
Human are made up of so many cells and so many chromosomes that its hard to believe that there is only one kind of character in us. I certainly don't believe in that. Throughout this rollar coaster week, i've thought of many many things. Heights that i'm afraid to reach and feelings thats of denial. But i've realised ONE thing, and that is all of us have split personality. The persona that you gives out may not be what you are feeling inside. Some says i'm just putting on a brave front and some sees me crumble. It a matter of who we want to show which side of us to. At least its something i have found out about myself. There's always 2 side to the story and likewise there 2 sides of me. Naughty Vs Nice. Devilish Vs Angelic. Mean Vs Kind. n the list goes on. One could be a sweet little angelic girl in the day and turned into a punkish gothic doll in the night. I'm not sure if u understand my ramblings but yeah..
it had been a rollar-coaster weekend for me. Been up to heaven and down in hell. I realised that when things are going bad for me.. and when i thought god was punishing me, i know the world doesnt solely revolve around me becoz many others are having their own problems, their own sob story. I feel like i'm running away from all the problems and refuses to see them eye to eye. But i'm not going to be that tortoise and i'm not going to hide in my shell. I shall come out and face the music. I will learn to be independent like V taught and i will deal with it with a matured mind. I'm going to sit down with a clean sheet of paper to work on and slowly sort out this big surreal blur. Untie knots and unbuckle thoughts. I need strength to pull thru. I need hope to see me thru. Most importantly, i need courage!
*I'm a Princess. I'm a butterfly girl. But now, I'm juz a butterfly girl with a broken wing*